Afraid of Death?

I have never been afraid of death (neither my own nor that of a loved one). I think it is because when I was very little they spoke to me about Heaven with such excitement that it gave me great peace. Knowing that I would be with God, the Virgin and my departed loved ones gave me a great sense of security. I remember that in my childhood we children dreamed of ice cream from the ice-cream cart (now children dream of somewhat more sophisticated things), and they told me that in Heaven there was an ice-cream cart that never ran out, and that you could eat as many as you wanted. But mind you, my grandmother told me, to get to Heaven you have to behave very well. As I got into my teens I no longer believed the story about the cart, but I still thought Heaven was something very special; so my image of it became the Gran Sabana, because when I first saw it I truly fell in love with it, and the peace I felt there was utterly unique.

I remember going, as a little girl, to many funerals of relatives and friends (some died of illness and others in accidents), and I never felt that death was a tragedy. My family, thank God, has great faith, and has borne natural and unexpected deaths with great sorrow but also with great peace. I do remember a relative by marriage who said to me at a wake: “Ask God to give me faith, because I’m in despair. I don’t believe in that business about Heaven.” Since that day I tell everyone who comes to me that the greatest gift you can give a child is faith, because without it it is very hard to get through the hard moments in our lives, of whatever kind.

Later, when I began to study my Catholic Faith seriously, I realized that death is something much deeper and more wonderful than an icecream cart or standing on top of Roraima. A very dear priest, who died a few months ago, once told me that when someone dies we should not cry but throw a party. I agreed with him, although I admit that on the day of his funeral I couldn’t hold back my tears over the separation; but I was also crying for the joy he must have been feeling at that moment in Heaven (at his great party) with his loved ones, after a life of renunciation, sacrifice, self-forgetfulness and self-giving to others. In the early days of Christianity, the faithful were taught not to lament the death of their own, but to rejoice, because the souls of the departed were already with God, enjoying peace and happiness after the trials and labors of the world. Tertullian, Saint Cyprian and the Acts of Saint Perpetua bear witness to how ancient these customs are.

Because for a Christian, death is the beginning of true Life. That wonderful day when we will reach our final Homeland and meet face to face the Love of all loves: Jesus Christ, along with our Blessed Virgin, Saint Joseph, Saint Teresa, Saint Augustine… and thousands upon thousands of saints, canonized or not (among them our departed loved ones), waiting for us joyfully for the great heavenly celebration. And to think that there we will understand so many things we could never understand down here! But the greatest thing of all will be when we realize that it Was worth the effort to make the talents God gave us (whether power, money, beauty, intelligence or anything else) bear fruit in the best way; that it Was worth following the Narrow Way He showed us so clearly in the Ten Commandments, in order to enjoy His Love in complete peace and tranquility (without problems, anxieties, uncertainties, suffering or pain) forever and ever…

And let it be said that I don’t imagine Heaven as boring at all. I don’t know why, but I think quite a few departed Venezuelan musicians must have formed several orchestras up there that liven up the heavenly evenings wonderfully. So who said anything about being afraid of death? And now that we know, through Saint Faustina Kowalska, the immense flood of God’s mercy toward all people, and especially toward repentant sinners, what can we be afraid of? Because, as the saying goes: “Everything has a solution except death. And death is the solution!”, when we have lived on this earth, where we are only passing through, as exemplary children of God, sowers of Peace, Unity, Joy, Self-Giving and Service.

And do you remember when I wrote that illness was a gift from God? Well, I say it again, because illness is a unique opportunity God gives us to prepare ourselves well for that definitive moment, which at first may seem frightening; but as soon as we open the door to God, to His Way and His Truth, we begin to understand that death is Life. In this way we will live the time we have left on this earth, where we are only passing through, so as to earn the Eternal Life God has promised us, which sooner or later will come to us all.